Helloooo readerss (-:
I have nothing to talk abt. But since my bestfriend, Aleesha ask me to update my blog cause she said it was dead. HAHA. So yeahh, i dont really have topics to talk about so im gonna like tell you so stuffs :P
Loveeee ; so, his over me. And i'm over him. Its over. But i realise that he still secretly look at me. Hmm, but wtvrs. Its over. I'm not gonna waste my tears anymore. And im gonna be a happy girl. Just sayingg.
School ; School is like so awesomee noww. Like seriously. My chinese guy friend, they make me laugh like shit. In class, Yat Chia and Han Way will make me laugh. Well, we always talk. Cause their like sitting behind of me. Well, if we play games or i go to 2 Hope, then people like Wei Hong, Brandon Mok, Yong Jing, Hing Hong or sometime Yat Chia and Han Way will go to the class. And we started joking around. So usually they talk about porn. Wtf -.- But they dont mean it, their just talking about and they think its funny -.- But yeahh, they make me laugh. They make my school day. Love themm. Last year, we use to hate each other like fak. But now we're like brother and sisters. So yeaaaaahh.
Somemore what? -.- Urghhhh, i dont know what to talk aboutt. K LAH BYE. Hehe.
28 March 2011
23 March 2011
Exam ; Love ; Friendship
Hellooo peopleee. So, i'm really emo now. Love problem. But i'll talk about it later. So yeahh, gonna tell you about my Exammm (-:
Exam ; well, exam papers are fineee. Kinda okaay lahh. HAHA, got the result. Im not gonna tell youu. But i improve a lot. Like seriously, i improve a lot. I think im not in the same class as Alia and Thip thats why. Cause last year, my marks was like ASDFGHJKL bad. But now, i improve a lot. Even Kazzy said :P I'm so proud of myself. So, what was i thinking is, if this exam i didnt do well. I'm gonna study real hard for the next exam.
Love ; sign* So we didnt text for like a week. But we did chat. We had a fight yesterday. And i guess his over me now? Well, i'm really sad. But, i'm kinda okay with his decision too. Cause, he dont understand me, he take things to serious, he hurt me, he make me cry. And his never gonna talk to me first. Well, he did. For laike, 3-4 times? Not more than 5 times. Its laike, i'm doing evrything and his sitting down there relaxing for me to go for him. Well, whenever his stress, i try to cheer him up make him smile but at the end, i got scolded by him. So, i think this is like not working. But i'm really sad. You said i talk to boys but you never said anything? Well, those boys i talk to their all my bestfriend. Just so you know, my love for you will never decrease. NEVER EVER DECREASE. But you? You are different. The girl said on her status, if she have a crush on me, COMMENT. So you went and literally comment. Well, i dont do that. And i dont treat OTHER PEOPLE MORE NICER THAN I TREATED YOU. What i realise is, you treat that girl way nicer than me. You said you love me but i dont know wheather you mean it. All i want from you is, i want you to give me love. Treat me in a special way. Understand me. Make me happy. But you also gotta be happy. So i think, its not working. Well, i still love you. But wtvrs. As long as you're happy then i am too. Love you sayang <3
Friendship ; so i had a fight with both of my BESTFRIEND. Yeah one of them give me bitch look and give me all sorts of faking attitude. Bitch, i dont give a fuck. Oh and i receive 2 letters from both of them. But it didnt change anything. JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, i wont forgive people that easily. But it depends.
- i'm done for now. I didnt really eat much just now. I dont know why. Take care readers (-:
Exam ; well, exam papers are fineee. Kinda okaay lahh. HAHA, got the result. Im not gonna tell youu. But i improve a lot. Like seriously, i improve a lot. I think im not in the same class as Alia and Thip thats why. Cause last year, my marks was like ASDFGHJKL bad. But now, i improve a lot. Even Kazzy said :P I'm so proud of myself. So, what was i thinking is, if this exam i didnt do well. I'm gonna study real hard for the next exam.
Love ; sign* So we didnt text for like a week. But we did chat. We had a fight yesterday. And i guess his over me now? Well, i'm really sad. But, i'm kinda okay with his decision too. Cause, he dont understand me, he take things to serious, he hurt me, he make me cry. And his never gonna talk to me first. Well, he did. For laike, 3-4 times? Not more than 5 times. Its laike, i'm doing evrything and his sitting down there relaxing for me to go for him. Well, whenever his stress, i try to cheer him up make him smile but at the end, i got scolded by him. So, i think this is like not working. But i'm really sad. You said i talk to boys but you never said anything? Well, those boys i talk to their all my bestfriend. Just so you know, my love for you will never decrease. NEVER EVER DECREASE. But you? You are different. The girl said on her status, if she have a crush on me, COMMENT. So you went and literally comment. Well, i dont do that. And i dont treat OTHER PEOPLE MORE NICER THAN I TREATED YOU. What i realise is, you treat that girl way nicer than me. You said you love me but i dont know wheather you mean it. All i want from you is, i want you to give me love. Treat me in a special way. Understand me. Make me happy. But you also gotta be happy. So i think, its not working. Well, i still love you. But wtvrs. As long as you're happy then i am too. Love you sayang <3
Friendship ; so i had a fight with both of my BESTFRIEND. Yeah one of them give me bitch look and give me all sorts of faking attitude. Bitch, i dont give a fuck. Oh and i receive 2 letters from both of them. But it didnt change anything. JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, i wont forgive people that easily. But it depends.
- i'm done for now. I didnt really eat much just now. I dont know why. Take care readers (-:
16 March 2011
Shopping ; Sleepover ; Gym ; Sauna ; Swimming
Helloo readerss :-D
So yeahh, as you people know its holiday. Guess what? I spend my monday and tuesday with my bbf, Aliaa and Thip (-: So im going to tell you accordingly what i do first.
Shopping ; so woke up at 9. Then get ready. Excited kay. Finally bole keluar. Yeah, this is the first time i keluar this year. Then after that, 10 30 Thip's dad and heer came and fetch me. So reach there at 11? Then went and shop forawhile. Then pergi makan dekat gasonline. Thats our breakfast :-P Bought a dress and a black shirt from cotton on. Bought stationary. Bought this recycle bag <-- something like that. Cheetah <3. K then i saw this shirt from Forever 21. AHHHHH, i fucking want it. I bought 200++ And then, that time i left 50++. That shirt cost RM89.90. I just love it so fucking much. Then went back. Had dinner with Thip and her dad. Then went back to Alia's house. Sleepoverr <3
Sleepover ; So yeahh, sleepover in Alia's. Thip cant sleepover her mum dont let. Thip went back home at 9. Then Alia went shower. After that i pon pergi. After showerring. Me and Alia went to her room. We talk and talk and talk sampai pukul 3. Okaay, sumpah lawak giler babi. I swear. So i went and sleep beside alia. I squeeze her giler babi and she go like OI hha. Then after that, she hum. OMGOMGOMGOMG, this part. Sumpah lawak. She hum like a ghost. I laugh like shit. Sampai i batuk. God, it was so funny. I'm laughing now. HAHAHA. Then i got hungry. At about 1++ Kay so we went down to the kitchen and toasttoast bread :-P Dah letak roti, for awhile macam, 7 second? Blackout! HAHAHAHAHA, we look at each other and we run to alia's room. Kay sumpah lawak. I laugh like shit. Luckily her dad & abang tak dengar :-P K, we paint our nail, talk and talk. Then aliaa tidor dulu. Okay, sumpah alia tidor comel giler. I nak ambik gambar tapi taknak sebab i tngh berfacebook-ing. HAHA, then i pon tidor sebab ipod touch alia battery low.
Next morning ; bangun pukul 11 30 or 12 taktahu. Thip call berpuluh-puluh kali, i tak angkat. I dengar actually :-P Then i silentkan. Haa, padan mukaa. HAHA, then alia ambik phone i main. Thip call lagi, then alia suroh i bangun for so many times. Tak layan. Then she ckp dah 11++ K, bangun.
Gym ; okaay. So jalan pergi rumah Thip. Then after that pergi rumah thip. Then we went down to the mamak. Then me, alia and thip makan together-gether. After that, balik rumah Thip. Then FB. Then afte that for laike 1 hour or 1 hour++ kite orang turun then pergi gym. Kay, so we exercise. I think i exercise the most? Both of them macam ckp jeaa -.- I run the thing i dont know whatdehell is that, for 781 time. Tak penat. Seriously. Cause i was breathing and blabla. Then after that, i went and try the pushing thingy for 50 times. Then yang push yourself up, i dapat 19 jea :-P Cause it was so tiring. Yeahh, testing my hang muscle. Kay then after that, balik rumah Thip again. Onlinee. Then at 4 we went for sauna. It was hot like asdfghjkl. But who cares? DIE FATS DIE. HAHA, tah ade burn ke tak -.- Then we went swimming for not even 5 minutes. The rain came. Then i was laike, oh fuck acid rain?! Then we run back to the saunaa. HAHA, then we lepak dekat tempat buat bbq tu, ade shelter. So we were there. It was so windy and cold. Then after that, we ran tu the mamak. K, taktau kene ke tak. Hopefully tak kena. Then after that, pergi mamak. Makan lunch. Then balik rumah Thip mandi. Then we prank call people. Sumpah lawak. HAHA. Then me and Alia went back at 6++ sebab hujan takleh nak jalan balik rumah Alia.
Then sampai rumah Aliaa, lepak dekat bilik dia. Nampak my ex. Then he texted me. His house and Alia's house macam behind. So yeahh. We look at eachother from alia's window. He was there until i balik -_- Then he was sitting there. And me and Alia were looking at him from Alia's room window. Then i gotta go home.
balik rumah, onlinee sampai tidor.
Kay, so i have lots of fun. Like seriously <3 I love them till death. They make me laugh. Thank you pendek and tinggi <3 I love you both a lot. And Thip, i know i bully you a lot. You think i scolded you a lot of time, but i were not. I was playing with you. Cause whenever i scold you as in a playing way, you'll give me that so FUCKING CUTE FACE, and goes, what i do again? )-': Awwwwhhh, so CUTEEE. K aliaa, dont make me laugh anymore. I miss it already.
I love you Thip and Alia till death <3
So yeahh, as you people know its holiday. Guess what? I spend my monday and tuesday with my bbf, Aliaa and Thip (-: So im going to tell you accordingly what i do first.
Shopping ; so woke up at 9. Then get ready. Excited kay. Finally bole keluar. Yeah, this is the first time i keluar this year. Then after that, 10 30 Thip's dad and heer came and fetch me. So reach there at 11? Then went and shop forawhile. Then pergi makan dekat gasonline. Thats our breakfast :-P Bought a dress and a black shirt from cotton on. Bought stationary. Bought this recycle bag <-- something like that. Cheetah <3. K then i saw this shirt from Forever 21. AHHHHH, i fucking want it. I bought 200++ And then, that time i left 50++. That shirt cost RM89.90. I just love it so fucking much. Then went back. Had dinner with Thip and her dad. Then went back to Alia's house. Sleepoverr <3
Sleepover ; So yeahh, sleepover in Alia's. Thip cant sleepover her mum dont let. Thip went back home at 9. Then Alia went shower. After that i pon pergi. After showerring. Me and Alia went to her room. We talk and talk and talk sampai pukul 3. Okaay, sumpah lawak giler babi. I swear. So i went and sleep beside alia. I squeeze her giler babi and she go like OI hha. Then after that, she hum. OMGOMGOMGOMG, this part. Sumpah lawak. She hum like a ghost. I laugh like shit. Sampai i batuk. God, it was so funny. I'm laughing now. HAHAHA. Then i got hungry. At about 1++ Kay so we went down to the kitchen and toasttoast bread :-P Dah letak roti, for awhile macam, 7 second? Blackout! HAHAHAHAHA, we look at each other and we run to alia's room. Kay sumpah lawak. I laugh like shit. Luckily her dad & abang tak dengar :-P K, we paint our nail, talk and talk. Then aliaa tidor dulu. Okay, sumpah alia tidor comel giler. I nak ambik gambar tapi taknak sebab i tngh berfacebook-ing. HAHA, then i pon tidor sebab ipod touch alia battery low.
Next morning ; bangun pukul 11 30 or 12 taktahu. Thip call berpuluh-puluh kali, i tak angkat. I dengar actually :-P Then i silentkan. Haa, padan mukaa. HAHA, then alia ambik phone i main. Thip call lagi, then alia suroh i bangun for so many times. Tak layan. Then she ckp dah 11++ K, bangun.
Gym ; okaay. So jalan pergi rumah Thip. Then after that pergi rumah thip. Then we went down to the mamak. Then me, alia and thip makan together-gether. After that, balik rumah Thip. Then FB. Then afte that for laike 1 hour or 1 hour++ kite orang turun then pergi gym. Kay, so we exercise. I think i exercise the most? Both of them macam ckp jeaa -.- I run the thing i dont know whatdehell is that, for 781 time. Tak penat. Seriously. Cause i was breathing and blabla. Then after that, i went and try the pushing thingy for 50 times. Then yang push yourself up, i dapat 19 jea :-P Cause it was so tiring. Yeahh, testing my hang muscle. Kay then after that, balik rumah Thip again. Onlinee. Then at 4 we went for sauna. It was hot like asdfghjkl. But who cares? DIE FATS DIE. HAHA, tah ade burn ke tak -.- Then we went swimming for not even 5 minutes. The rain came. Then i was laike, oh fuck acid rain?! Then we run back to the saunaa. HAHA, then we lepak dekat tempat buat bbq tu, ade shelter. So we were there. It was so windy and cold. Then after that, we ran tu the mamak. K, taktau kene ke tak. Hopefully tak kena. Then after that, pergi mamak. Makan lunch. Then balik rumah Thip mandi. Then we prank call people. Sumpah lawak. HAHA. Then me and Alia went back at 6++ sebab hujan takleh nak jalan balik rumah Alia.
Then sampai rumah Aliaa, lepak dekat bilik dia. Nampak my ex. Then he texted me. His house and Alia's house macam behind. So yeahh. We look at eachother from alia's window. He was there until i balik -_- Then he was sitting there. And me and Alia were looking at him from Alia's room window. Then i gotta go home.
balik rumah, onlinee sampai tidor.
Kay, so i have lots of fun. Like seriously <3 I love them till death. They make me laugh. Thank you pendek and tinggi <3 I love you both a lot. And Thip, i know i bully you a lot. You think i scolded you a lot of time, but i were not. I was playing with you. Cause whenever i scold you as in a playing way, you'll give me that so FUCKING CUTE FACE, and goes, what i do again? )-': Awwwwhhh, so CUTEEE. K aliaa, dont make me laugh anymore. I miss it already.
I love you Thip and Alia till death <3
13 March 2011
SOMEONE JUST BUY ME AVRIL LAVIGNE ALBUM, PLEASE
So i was really moody this few weeks. Hmm, yeahh. About lovee. So i keep hearing Avril Lavigne's song. Its just so meaningful. Or maybe Taylor Swift. Hmm, yeahh. My love. Its complicated.
I miss my little mushroom brother already D:
So he went to Lumut or something like that with my mum, aunt and some of my relatives. Miss him already )-: Me and my big brother stay at my homeeee. Gonna miss disturbing him, kissing him on the cheek before i sleep, playing with his hair scolding him for no reason and he'll show me his -__- face. Lolool, so cute
Take care Mummy and brother <3
Love you guys, FOREVER <3
Take care Mummy and brother <3
Love you guys, FOREVER <3
Exam ; Japan ; Stuff
Exammm ; Woooooo ~ Finally dah habis dahh :-D So maths and science was okaay. Science i left 1 page. Sumpah tak erti nak macam mana buat -.- Kay, maths? I got my marks. 21 over 30 for objective!! Wooo, im so happy. Like seriously. Subjective dont know yet. I hope at least i get B since im not really good :/ KH and Seni was okaay. Memang tak study hha, but okay ahh. Still remember what teacher said in class. Moral was easy. Mandarin, LAUGHS* HAHAHA, i got 36 over 100. Kay, i nie en, OCBC. ORANG CINA BUKAN CINA. Lolool, even my bestfriend Kamilia, she got higher marks then me. But yeahh. HAHA, my fault for not giving a shit :-P
Japaaan ; kay sumpah kesian giler kay. And scary giler babi. I think the world is gonna end. I mean this is a sign. My teacher once said, whenever our world is gonna end, it'll start of with Tsunami or flood. PrayforJapan* I dont know how many innocent people is dead. All we gotta do now is praay. The news about japan is still on. My mum told me not to be scare cause we have a time to go also. But i dont want to die in a suffer waay )-': I hope everyone in this world will be alright. Take care world.
Japan earthquake
• 8.9 magnitude earthquake hits Japan, numerous aftershocks
• 10m tsunami in northern port of Sendai
• Japan declares emergency at nuclear plant
• Tsunami warnings for many other countries
• Japanese PM calls for "spirit of fraternity"
• Death toll rising
A number of country has been given alert. Sumpah kesian giler )-:
Appreciate your life. Life is short to be unhappy. Stay with the one you love. Dont fight. Keep loving each other. Not wake till that person you really love die and you cried. Appreciate them.
Stuffs ; Holiday 1 weeek. Kay i dont know what to do. Being a lifeless girl 24 hours on computer -.- damn son, i wanna hangout also kennot. My dad, urghh -.-
kbye
*prayforjapan
Japaaan ; kay sumpah kesian giler kay. And scary giler babi. I think the world is gonna end. I mean this is a sign. My teacher once said, whenever our world is gonna end, it'll start of with Tsunami or flood. PrayforJapan* I dont know how many innocent people is dead. All we gotta do now is praay. The news about japan is still on. My mum told me not to be scare cause we have a time to go also. But i dont want to die in a suffer waay )-': I hope everyone in this world will be alright. Take care world.
Japan earthquake
• 8.9 magnitude earthquake hits Japan, numerous aftershocks
• 10m tsunami in northern port of Sendai
• Japan declares emergency at nuclear plant
• Tsunami warnings for many other countries
• Japanese PM calls for "spirit of fraternity"
• Death toll rising
A number of country has been given alert. Sumpah kesian giler )-:
Appreciate your life. Life is short to be unhappy. Stay with the one you love. Dont fight. Keep loving each other. Not wake till that person you really love die and you cried. Appreciate them.
Stuffs ; Holiday 1 weeek. Kay i dont know what to do. Being a lifeless girl 24 hours on computer -.- damn son, i wanna hangout also kennot. My dad, urghh -.-
kbye
*prayforjapan
09 March 2011
EXAMMMMM BITCHES
Tuesday ; had my BM, English and Geo examm. Hehh, BM was okay. I hate PEMAHAMAN. But i really hope i pass :-P English was easyy. Wrote 330 words for informal letter. Hehh, GEO. Dont talk about it. I GOT SO FUCKING PISS. NOT ENOUGH TIME TO FINISH. I TEMBAK MORE THAN 10 QUESTIONS SEBAB TAKDE MASA. FUCK EVRYTHING. FOR THE FIRST TIME I'VE TEMBAK GEO. AND I TOLD MYSELF TO NOT TEMBAK AND STUDY HARD. BUT LOOK WHAT I DID? SERIOUSLY, FUCK EVYRTHING
Wednesday ; had Maths, Mandarin and Sejarah examm. Woooo, maths was okay. Mandarin, hehh. I did the one i know the one i dont, i leave it blank. Banyak kot. And i went and sleep :-P Sejarahh, was okay. Kinda hard too -.-
Gonna have Science, Seni and KH exam tomorrow. Now i seriously gotta study. Especcially SCIENCE. Kene remember banyak kot. KH takut banyak salah then do correction for 3,5 or 10 times. Great.
Wednesday ; had Maths, Mandarin and Sejarah examm. Woooo, maths was okay. Mandarin, hehh. I did the one i know the one i dont, i leave it blank. Banyak kot. And i went and sleep :-P Sejarahh, was okay. Kinda hard too -.-
Gonna have Science, Seni and KH exam tomorrow. Now i seriously gotta study. Especcially SCIENCE. Kene remember banyak kot. KH takut banyak salah then do correction for 3,5 or 10 times. Great.
Please?
Why are you treating me this way?
I know shits happen. But i really hope theres nothing gonna change between us. Just by you talking to me, it'll makes my day. I'm serious. But if we dont talk, i'm half dead. You're a guy that i wanna be with every second, every minute, and every hour. If i can, i would love to spend the whole time with you. I dont know wheather you understand they way when the person you love dont talk to you for days like me.But its really hurtful. I swear. I maybe looking happy on the outside but on the inside im hurt like FUCK.
I miss you so FUCKING muchh sayang )-':
I know shits happen. But i really hope theres nothing gonna change between us. Just by you talking to me, it'll makes my day. I'm serious. But if we dont talk, i'm half dead. You're a guy that i wanna be with every second, every minute, and every hour. If i can, i would love to spend the whole time with you. I dont know wheather you understand they way when the person you love dont talk to you for days like me.But its really hurtful. I swear. I maybe looking happy on the outside but on the inside im hurt like FUCK.
I miss you so FUCKING muchh sayang )-':
SHITS DO HAPPEN
I saw your blog, not stalking. It was in my dashboard. I've saw what you said.
To the ex close friend : You're not always right. And I can't believe I just saw what everyone else see in you. Stop telling everyone that you're actually nice cause you're not. Because if you're nice, you won't talk out loud how ugly that person is, especially in front of her fucking face then laugh. That's fucking rude. Plus, you're not perfect. Not even close to perfect.
You said that. Why are you starting the whole thing again? Because of the big fight i had with someone else? Or maybe i often hang out with you guys? Or what? You wanna start the shits problem again we had last year? Well, about the perfect. No one is perfect. I admit that i'm not perfect. Cause no one is perfect. And, why are you using the same reason as what someone said? I said ugly in front of the person and laugh? Who told you that? And to who? Whye Yee's best friend? We're fucking close now. Me and him are fucking close to each other now. By the look of both of your face, i know this will happen long time ago when i was hanging out with Whye Yee. And you guys seldomly talk to me after that. Is it wrong for me to even hang out with her? Chill lahh. I still love you guys a lot. And now talking about whose not perfect and perfect. What about you? You bitch about people the most. Well if you saids its me. Then lemme tell you this, i bitch because you guys did. If i dont, then you guys will said " your bestfriend" or some bullshits. Its true Whye Yee its my best friend. And you guys did bitch about her. I think, most of the people i'm close with, you guys bitch about all of them. By bitching about people, how are you guys gonna make friends? I swear i really do love you guys. But you guys, i just cant stand. Lemme guess, when you see this, you're gonna tell someone, and you're gonna bitch about me and even tell the person what i said. Bitch, you bitch about people most. Am i right? I know your attitude. Its worse than mine. I taught you guys were my true friends but i was wrong. Yeahh, i know you guys are gonna bitch about me. And tell the person you're close too. Why do you guys even bitch about your own best friend? Is this what bestfriend mean to you people? Bitch about them when you're not friends with them? And its true Alia and Whye Yee is my bestfriend. So you dont need to tell me alright? Whenever you bitch about one of them, you'll surely said to me " bestfriend you" Yes. There're both my best friend. C'mon lahhh, what did i do wrong? Tell me.
I got really upset when i saw this, but wtf, i didnt do anything wrong to you so IDAF. Karma will strikes both you. Just wait.
04 March 2011
WHY IS EVRYTHING ALL FUCK UP? URGH
I'm fuck up. I cried. I'm lock in the room. I have no appetite. I'm dead. Its dark here.
I'm fuck up. I swear to god, i'm so sad till i can die. For the first time, i have the feeling like this. We FOUGHT. And evrything all went badly. The way you treat, they way we use to be. I miss EVRYTHING. I dont know other than saying sorry and pujuk-ing you to make you happy. I dont want you to be unhappy. I keep listening to Enchanted by Taylor Swift. I dont know why, but i think it'll calm my mind. I cant study. I just got no mood to go and study. Its like, whenever you're not with me, i feel so empty and i feel like i'm dead. I haven eat my lunch neither dinner. I am hungry but i dont feel like eating. All i'm thinking now is YOU. You mean the world to me and you dont know how deep i've fall for you. The worse is, you dont talk to me. I SWEAR TO GOD ITS SO MTHFUCKING HURTFUL. What can i do more?
I'm fuck up. I swear to god, i'm so sad till i can die. For the first time, i have the feeling like this. We FOUGHT. And evrything all went badly. The way you treat, they way we use to be. I miss EVRYTHING. I dont know other than saying sorry and pujuk-ing you to make you happy. I dont want you to be unhappy. I keep listening to Enchanted by Taylor Swift. I dont know why, but i think it'll calm my mind. I cant study. I just got no mood to go and study. Its like, whenever you're not with me, i feel so empty and i feel like i'm dead. I haven eat my lunch neither dinner. I am hungry but i dont feel like eating. All i'm thinking now is YOU. You mean the world to me and you dont know how deep i've fall for you. The worse is, you dont talk to me. I SWEAR TO GOD ITS SO MTHFUCKING HURTFUL. What can i do more?
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